Grossman's Drunk Ramblings and Cole's Amazing Humor

2003-11-22T23:32:00.000-05:00

Well im not drunk this time, but extrmemely mad, pissed off, stressed and depressed. So if anyone of you havent heard, I was invovled in a car accident wednesday. I survived with barbely a scratch, just some soreness and neck pain. However, my car is totalled and it hit me very hard. I lost my first car, and a car that i loved. I ran a red light and t-boned the car i hit, but when i went back to the accident scene, i noticed that the light i ran through, was actually in line with a light that is 100 ft ahead, so i figured out why i ran the light, i could see it, its confusing and that pisses me off, cause thats very dangerous and not totally my fault. I have also decided today, i am done with all the bullshit in my life, i cant take it anymore. I mean i have so much stress, and i keep getting invovled in situations that add stress to my life, i really think i will have a heart attack at 30 or sooner. So i give up, not trying anymore with certain things, i just dont give a shit anymore. Ok im done complaining, later.....

2003-11-18T02:44:00.000-05:00

Unreal
I don’t believe it… 2,001 hits? Nah, get outta here!! Seriously. I’m off to get my eyes checked. When I return from my visual checkup, I’ll hit you with the 2,000th commemorative post if indeed my eyes served me well. I’m more likely to believe that Richard Gere doesn’t have a thing for gerbils and hamsters than I am that we reached 2,000 hits. Ha, I’m out… getting my eyes checked. I wasn’t kidding.

2003-11-01T02:45:00.000-05:00

Wow, Iam wasted. So I ahvent posted for a while. Tonight I went to the pub for halloween and everyone was drsssed up, or most of them were dressed up and the costumes were hilarious. I was a frat boy, well i am one and decided not to dress up. I mean who dresses up for halloween, honestly. Aftwr getting wasted, I decided to eat at subway, well i left my debit card at the house, so i walked back to the house and then back to subway. On my way bak from subnway I ran into Kyle the pledge, and we met these three girls dressed in a firefighter outfit. We both got them to come abck to m dirty room and hang out. That was cool, got a number and talked to one of the fgirls Big Sister, oh this girl is a ZTA and she was cool, and told them, to come to Lubky Ducky. The big sister knew our president and also Devinn. That was fun times.
My Little Sister RULES!!!
im sorry Cole, but your Little Sister sucks!!!
His little sister also cokcblocked me for homecoming with her whole sorority. Yea this girl is sooo annoying. I mean everytime she talkes to me, she comes upa nd says why do you ahte me, so after the 10th time i said FINE I HATE YOU!!!, and then she came back asked me again in mry room when i was watching a game with some brothers, so i told her to get out of my room. I mean come on, I gave her a chance. OK LATER!!!!

2003-10-29T09:47:00.000-05:00

If I were on Mtv Cribs, I’d show off one vehicle that would be the “end all” of all rides. The ride I speak of, a top of the line garbage truck painted midnight, metallic blue with a chrome grill, a hood ornament the size of a midget, hydraulics, a fully functioning trash compactor fashioned of gold, and 70-inch, gold, diamond encrusted, spinning rims. With this vehicle, an insurmountable standard for automobiles would be set, all the other celebrities would be kicking themselves in the ass for not beating me to the punch, and I would forever be known as the most ostentatious star in the continental United States. No, wait… Damn you Diddy! How bout you go marry another girl who loves you for your character and charm. And by “character and charm,” I mean “money.” Honestly though, if I see one more jackass rapper walk over to a car they know nothing about, mispronounce the car’s name, and say, “I got dem 22-inch spinnin’ shoes on it,” I’ll… I’ll… I’ll… probably sit in front of the TV and call them a “jackass,” say “nice car,” and be perfectly content because I can actually complete a sentence without using “ya dig” or “ ‘n shit.” I’m out ‘n shit! Ya dig!

2003-10-27T02:59:00.000-05:00

As I lent my ear to my enormous mp3 collection tonight, I couldn’t help but notice how drastically my motivation toward certain activities changed. The first song I played, none other than the theme song to TV’s Airwolf, motivated me to do something benevolent, philanthropic if you will. I wanted to get in my helicopter, fly on campus, and slash the tires of every police unit I could locate on radar, all while wearing this or a black leather jacket, black jeans, and a dated pair of aviator shades. I was intent on carrying out the plan but I couldn’t find the “keys” to my damn chopper. So instead of hoppin’ in the heli and crashing to the ground like a fat kid from a cliff (<--let it slide, I’m tired), I played another selection… Sticking with TV themes for the time being, I rolled with the MacGyver theme song, which I think was made by Duran Duran, or not. Through the course of the MacGyver song, exactly one minute and eleven seconds, I tried to pick my roommate’s lock. Well, almost tried to pick it. I shuffled through my drawer and grabbed the first three items I touched, a paper clip of course, a zebra print thong, and a Bubba Gump’s Shrimp Co. bumper sticker. I then threw the items to the ground and asked myself, “Whose drawer is this?” I guess I acquired someone’s Yaffa stackers one day when I was elsewhere. All right, it was all mine, except for that paper clip. I have no idea where that paper clip came from! Next was “Mr. Wendal” by Arrested Development, a grand song about a homeless man named Mr. Wendal. As soon as I heard the drums I felt guilty. I immediately wanted to drive downtown to tell this one bum that when I flicked him off last night, it was my way of saying “I don’t have any cash on me.” As the song played on, I recalled the colorful and now out of style clothing the group wore in their videos. Shortly after this realization, I threw away my Cool Runnings T-shirt and my Bill Cosby vest… Cool Runnings, hmmm… Come to think of it! What ever happened to Doug E. Doug? You know the guy with dreads on the Jamaican bobsled team in Cool Runnings… He was rather funny. I’d like to think he’s still around. If not, his list of films and shows contains about as many leads as Punky Brewster’s. I'm out like a bulimic girl's lunch…

2003-10-26T01:38:00.000-05:00

The day is mine!
Thursday night, I met an SNL icon, one of my favorite cast members, the comedic genius known as Darrell Hammond. Jealous eyes read on… I’ll tell you all about it in a fictional account.

Here’s how the meeting went down. Darrell had just made fun of a heckler in the crowd, who just happened to be the oxlike Anna Nicole Smith, who was wearing a pink shirt with the phrase “I love me some Little Debbie” embroidered in Arial, 86 point, white font. To paint a better picture, this shirt was fashioned out of two queen-sized, fitted bed sheets and the snack cake phrase was arranged in one line that stretched from cavernous armpit to cavernous armpit. She also wore a 24-karat gold necklace, complete with a Clydesdale horse charm. And by horse charm, I mean a real horse. Apparently one of the Budweiser Clydesdales was dipped in gold and shipped via naval carrier to Anna after it died from an allergic reaction to an expired equine suppository. I know… I know… Clydesdales are HUGE! But you have to understand; this seemingly huge charm necklace looks like a damn choker on the whale-esque Anna. She’s a shade under 78 feet tall, so my claim is more than feasible. Arena staff removed a portion of the building so that she could crawl in and sit Indian/Beluga style in the corner. Believe me yet? So anyway, Anna gets hungry halfway through Hammond’s set and starts to weep tears that sound like Daisy Cutters when they hit the ground. Accompanying the tears were roars that can only belong to a T-Rex. Darrell let it slide until he noticed his right ear was bleeding due to the earsplitting clamors. At this time, he pulled out a pocket-sized joke book coincidentally entitled “Fat Jokes for the Washed Up, Hefty, Semi-Celeb.” He then began reciting these jokes hoping that everyone would laugh at Anna until she got so upset she’d crawl out of the building and head seaward. She got pretty pissed. However, to our surprise, she rolled around on her back for five minutes like a tortoise and eventually stood up, shattering the roof of the Arena into hundreds of twenty foot long chunks. [Note 1: We were tickled shitless that she actually got up. For a good four and a half minutes she was really struggling! The roof thing didn’t surprise us at all. We could only expect the roof to crumble like a graham cracker in the grasp of a fat-fingered kindergartner when Anna’s massive forehead struck it. Note 2: We were also tickled shitless because the roof’s debris harmed not a soul.] What Anna-zilla did next was nothing short of a marvel of human/dinosaur strength. Reaching down by her right foot, which was positioned in the parking lot at the time, she began grabbing full-sized SUVS out of their spots and hurling them at the stage. Well, she tried to hurl them. Her fingers kept getting wedged in the windows and wheel wells of the vehicles. Regardless of whether she would have ever thrown an SUV or not, I feared that her reckless actions were a serious threat to the Greater Florida area. Long story a little shorter, I ran out to the parking lot, climbed up Anna-zilla’s immense haunches, hit her in the nuts, rappelled back down, and hastened to safety. Anna-zilla fell to her knees, crawled across the street to the sandlot, and beached herself.

After PETA stopped by and stoned me for killing a whale, Darrell Hammond walked over, helped me up, and thanked me for my courageous deed by giving me a signed glue-on Sean Connery beard, which is now covered with dust because I accidentally mistook it for a feather duster when I was… hmm, dusting my room in the dark… sober.

I’ll post the real, much shorter version later on. Scratch that. I won’t be posting the real story because it would sound too much like a journal entry. Journal entries aren’t very interesting. They’re about as interesting as watching someone else watch paint dry. Journals are for girls to talk about how some girl gave them the wrong look in the gym or to brag about how great their boyfriend is. “Stan is SO GrEaT!! He actually didn’t call me an attention whore today. Isn’t that SWEET? I validate myself with a boyfriend. YAY!!” Yeeeee-ah, so, I’m out like Anna Nicole Smith’s loopy ass cheeks in a leotard.

REMEMBER TO CLICK THAT TOP-BLOGS GEM... it kinda keeps us ranked. There's gonna be tons of posting from now on. Be ready... I will have more time to post starting right... now!

2003-10-13T09:26:00.000-04:00

I viewed the page and saw the word "JEW" in all caps, and that's how I knew J Geezy was back. The spelling also tipped me off. "Frekas?" Did Josh post drunk or is he creating new slang for Missy Elliott? I'll go with drunk for $200. I've almost grown fond of Josh's drunken mumblings. Slurred typing is just funny when intelligible. That's intelligible, not intelligent, just for the record. Word has it that Josh will post sober someday, but that's just hearsay.

My reasons for not posting as much are numerous. The main reason being that my teachers decided at their weekly How to Stress Chris Out meeting that they all would give as many quizzes within a one-week period as they possibly could. It's working... However, bemoan I will not. I'll just ace all my shite and return in my usual capacity. I actually had intended to post a lot before the bombs hit. I wrote a few things, but didn't get around to finishing them. So I'll finish those and post 'em, Deo Volente. Hopefully Josh will get sloshed and entertain you as well. Before I get back to the books, I want to inform all that Chick-fil-a has a "Guest Relations" position. Some woman handed me my purchased bag of delectable chicken morsels brandishing a nametag with not only Diane, her name obviously, but also the title "Guest Relations." If you dine in at Chick-fil-a and stay inside long enough to earn the label "guest," you've overstayed your welcome. I'll be posting soon. And remember that lil' "top-blogs" gem on the page. ;) Click it to keep us ranked. I'm out like Speak 'n Spell.

2003-10-04T02:54:00.000-04:00

Oh man I am wasted...... So IO had a good night, hooked up with a girl, yes I got some play, what a g ood night it is when that happens.
So my roommate tried to hook up with some girls, yea did not probably cause he frekas some people out. He tried to hook up with my former girl, but yea no go, and then before i retired to my room he was going for a reall fat girl, i mean come on, what is he thinking, weven with beer goggles, you do not go after that. Your a DU, not a TKE hahaha
Ok Im donme, listening to Keith Urban, who wouldnt want to be me, awesome song, god damn i used to hate country, but it has deifnant grown on me. Ok goodnight all, have a good night.

2003-10-03T19:17:00.000-04:00

Oh shit! I am back......
Yea my computer was in the shop being worked on for a couple of weeks and i was just being the LAZY JEW I am and not posting. I may post later when I am drunk after the party tonight, later!!!!

2003-09-29T16:34:00.000-04:00

North America without Tequila would be like France without the notion of homosexuality. There would be a bunch of very feminine, extremely confused men walking around dressed funny. Scratch that. I cannot force myself to kick France while they’re down. They lost the one thing they were famous for, and the “Freedom Fry” wasn’t even theirs to begin with. Anyway, this Tequila situation…

Mexico is threatening to cut off all bulk exports of Tequila. Go ahead and let that marinate for a second… Need I further explain? Nay! I need not! I must say, this soon-to-be resolved dispute has me somewhat chapfallen. Granted, the U.S. will eventually patch things up with the Mexicans, but the American people need to know, how soon? We need to know if we should go stock up on Uncle Jose, Casa Noble, Sauza, and Agave Azul. It’s no secret; we enjoy partaking in soirees and weenie roasts, esp. when they involve Jose and the gang. We like imbibing frozen Margaritas, drinking that shot that puts us over the edge, and naming the worm after we drink that shot that puts us over the edge. The U.S. needs Tequila, Mexico does not. Mexico needs some clean water. Ah yes, see where I’m going with this President Vicente Fox? (He’s a frequent viewer) Let’s barter. We will give you huge vats of aqua for continued circulation of Mexico’s finest. Hold on, throw in two sombreros and it’s a deal. There! It’s settled! I could fix this dilemma, but I guess the rulebook states that to act as a foreign ambassador, one must have the equivalent of a high school diploma, two years prior negotiating experience, and a weird ass name. C’mon, Allen Johnson! That is one off the wall last name! [Enter failed attempt at sarcasm, bold-face type, stage right.] … And you chuckled anyway.

I’m done rambling… Mexico, for the love of all that is fermented and extremely dangerous when consumed in excess, please don’t do this. We need what you got. No, not a smog-filled wasteland containing little-to-no sanitary drinking water, we need your Tequila meng! If you don’t comply with our wishes, we’ll nuke you. That is all. I'm out like an albino in flashlight tag.

2003-09-19T17:59:00.000-04:00

Let me say just one thing. Now, this one thing will probably elicit a “preach on” from our beloved female readers and a “you’re kidding” from the male audience, but I just gotsta get something off my chest. This may sound similar to an introduction at an AA meeting-- My name is Chris, and I’m over J-Lo! That’s right! I no longer hold her in high esteem… at all. I got fed up with her shenanigans. Despite my attempts to stop her, she keeps making that god-awful noise known as poorly written, poorly sung pop music. Most pop music is poorly written and poorly sung, so the fact that I had to specify is simply pathetic. Her music videos, when muted, were the only things that kept her head above water in the music industry, but she had to go and puncture her floatation device with the video for the theme song from “Gigli.” The video would have been fine without sound had she worn some make-up. I guess she doesn’t realize that when people call her beautiful, they’re only referring to the times when she’s done up properly, you know, by artists and stylists that are so good they can make a troll quasi-attractive. Her acting was once respectable, but she had to ruin that too… She did “Gigli.” The last time I saw acting that bad was when our once-esteemed J-Lo acted like she was in love with a certain Diddy, or was it Daddy at the time? Now, I didn’t actually see “Gigli,” you know, because I bat for the blue team, but I hear it will end up raking in about as much money as “The Adventures of Pluto Nash.”

I’m sure girls everywhere are pleased that Ben kicked J-Lo to the cizzurb. I could care less about the ordeal, although I would’ve found another Lopez divorce rather entertaining. Unlike her, celebrity divorce stories never get old. So, as I said, I’m over her. I think Jennifer Lopez is through. Not even her other flotation device can save her now. ;) Anyway, I’m out like “Gigli” will be when it’s released on DVD next week.

Click the Top-Blogs link to keep us ranked. We’re hangin’ in there like Pauly Shore’s career. I never thought writing could rank so highly among links to porn sites… I’m dumbfounded, really. I used to joke about the small numbers that viewed our site, and now we’re actually getting as many hits as Ludacris’ bong. It’s pretty schweet!

Oh, and Josh, I didn’t know that you were the one on the unicycle, my bad. By the way, has anyone seen him lately?

2003-09-09T02:29:00.000-04:00

When I was on campus this fine morn at the ungodly hour of 7:00, I saw something that struck me queer. A certain commuter used a form of transportation on campus that I hadn’t seen prior to today… A FREAKIN’ unicycle!! Granted, it’s not that extraordinary, but here’s the kicker—the guy couldn’t ride the damn thing. As I was stopped at a red light, you know, because you can’t run ‘em if you’re on campus, I observed this brainless pud trying to cross the road. The “move your ass” light at this particular crosswalk gives crossers about 20 seconds to cover about 30 feet of asphalt. This “engine that REALLY couldn’t” only makes it halfway to the median. The guy was seriously struggling, and I was seriously laughing. To give you an idea of what this guy looked like while trying to maintain his balance, picture a midget frantically flailing his arms in a kiddy pool, fighting to stay afloat. R-tard McCoy eventually makes it to the median by the grace of whomever he subscribes to and starts to thrash about even more, like the Subway Jared of old getting out of bed… and I just start laughing harder while staring at the green light like it meant go or something. I thought McCoy was going to collapse in traffic and get hit by a short bus. The unicyclist must’ve been waiting to jay-cycle when no cars were around, as there was no way he’d meet the qualifying time of 20 seconds. He finally looked over at me and I waved him across the road because I’d been cackling through three signal changes, my stomach was aching from laughter, and I had to get to class. I was also beginning to interpret the generally pleasant “Hawaiian peace signs” waved by drivers behind me as being malevolent. Anyway, I’m gonna go purchase a unicycle. I’m gone like 50 Cent's left molars.

2003-09-03T09:57:00.000-04:00

This Internet thing is so new to me again! I just relearned the whole lol and smiley lingo. Um… Yeah, so I haven’t been gone for that long, but it’s been a while. The Internet has been down at many off-campus domiciles as of late because of the MSblast worm virus. I helped a neighbor rid her computer of the virus the other day. When I finished, she asked me what the worm looked like, so I put the virus back on her computer because that had to be the single most dim-witted thing I’ve heard since July. I should have just told her that the worm looked like this, an inchworm with a wild hair up its ass. You know, because inchworms assault computers when irritated by a wayward ass-hair. Since they have asses and what not… On to substandard events, cough now, and say VMAs with me. The VMAs sucked this year. I would leave it at that, but you must know that I actually saw the lipstick marks on Fifty Cent and Justin’s asses each time they accepted an award. Not only did MTV kiss some major man-ass, but they also put on bright red lipstick before smooching posterior. MTV, here’s an idea for next year’s show. How ‘bout you nominate the same five entertainers for all but three awards and only let two of said entertainers win! If that’s not genius, then Macy Gray’s not sexy. Oh, that’s right, she’s not, so how ‘bout you change things for next year. Maybe I’m just frustrated because I lost a $50 VMA wager over whether Christina was fat or not. There was no conclusive evidence supporting my belief that she was carrying a few hundred extra pounds. I conceded, even though she was wearing clothing that could hide Fat Joe’s rolls. Anyway, I’m out like Bubble Tape.

2003-08-26T23:08:00.000-04:00

Havent posted in a while due to my inernet being a piece of shit.
Also i was parked in the back of the DU house and some asshole threw a brick threw my window and stole my wallet,yea that sucked. Ok thats all for now.

2003-08-15T00:30:00.000-04:00

Soooooo....I went to chicago last friday through tuesday. I went with my parents and my brother, we drove there for 23 straight hours. We had a few stops, for the bathroom and food. But it was horrible....OH and my dad wanted me to drive, but I forgot my glasses and only had my contacts. Well my father thinks that cotacts are bad and you cannot drive with them, so he drove the entire way. My dad is really crazy and some other people know what I am talking about.
Chicago was fun, citisted with family. I mean he is now two of me. I asked him what the hell happened, he just told me to shut up. So im still wondering what happened and why he ate so much.
My dad and his brother are in a 10 year long fight, and everytime I go to chicago I get in the middle, and of course this trip was no different. Yea that sucked.
Went to Six Flags Great America and that was fun, but the feature ride "Superman" broke down, as well as another cool ride. So that sucked. And oh man the food prices are sooo expensive. I mean for a pasta dinner it was 11 bucks, what the fuck! I know Im a cheap Jew, but come on. Well im not that cheap, just cost conscious.
The flight back was OK, I had to change planes in Atlanta. The plane to Atlanta I was sitting next to this old lady and she fucking pissed me off. First on takeoff her fucking purse strap was on me and I was like umm excsue me, but plese remove that. She gives me a look like I am wrong, what the fuck!!! And then the whole plane ride she was taken up so much room, making my room extrememly small.
The flight from Atlanta to Orlando was good, a bigger plane and a better seatmate. I was sitting next to a lady and her baby, Her baby was really cute, makes me want to have kids one day.

I bought Madden 2004, and what an awesome game it is, and yes im addicted. Oh and I also bought the Best of Will Ferrel and that is hilarious.

If anything is spelled wrong or the wrong grammer, I do not care. Later!!!!

2003-08-08T04:06:00.000-04:00

I don't have the wind for a long post tonight so I'll break you off a lil' somethin' somethin'. So... I'm seated with some of my homeboys at Applebee's, where each dessert comes with two spoons regardless of whom you're seated with, and one of my friends nearly knocks over his glass of Diet Coke. I mean, the occurrence was nothing out of the ordinary, because this one particular "friend" is two genes away from being retarded... But of course, I live for comedy, so I chime in and say, "You know, the last time I saw moves that clumsy was when your mother tried to be on top." The laughter that ensued was interrupted by said friend standing up and yelling (while holding in the laughter), "Why do you always say stuff like that? You talk about doing my mom all the time!" He then engages the waiter in conversation with, "Sir, this guy wants to do my mom, isn't that gross? My mom's fat and ugly, no one should want to do my mom!" Now, I have no problem with what has happened just yet, 'cause it's all funny... but the waiter had to go and ruin it. He gets excited and does that "It's like... It's like" thing, reminiscent of that kid back in kindergarten who stuttered when he thought he had a good cut down. I still have no problem with the scenario 'cause all I'm picturing is the waiter saying "Blah, blah, blah, I'm a dumbass!" It's what follows the "It's like" that gets me. The waiter utters, "Huh, huh, it's like you have a mom fetish or something, and she's not even a milf." At that point, ah yes, we all said, "check please" in unison. I was thinking, "Wow dude!! Shit, this whole conversation was humorous until your Porky the Pig stuttering and your horrible attempt at analyzing my case, which isn't even a case at all because I was kidding." The guy said I had a complex after the "Bah-deet, bah-deet, that's all folks" part. I swear, I wanted to backhand the kid and shout, "Pipe down r-tard," as undue as that may sound. I don't know. I just thought it was rather funny that my friend would make fun of his mom in a similar fashion to Horatio Sanz's character in Boat Trip. Anyway, I'm sleeping like Courtney Love after a three-day bender... Well, I'm not sleeping quite like that... "That's all folks."

2003-08-08T01:50:00.000-04:00

So I am going to Chicago for a few days to visit family. I will be driving up there in a van with my parents and brother, also driving there straight with no stops except for food. So yea that is gonna be hell. Luckily I get to fly back, due to my parents taking my brother on a college tour of the east coast.
I have also been informed by a viewer that I am not funny. Well if you dont think I am funny, go to hell. I dont really care, well I do care a little. However, I have been told by a few people that I am quite funny so that makes up for the rude comments by others.
Well im a little tired so I will post after my trip and let everyone know how it went. Night!!!

2003-08-05T13:52:00.000-04:00

Damn blogger assholes, what the fuck? I mean come on all I said to them was take that gay shit off our site. I never meant any harm with that statement. Gay has so many meanings, Happy, stupid, and of course homosexual. I think its fucking dumb of blogger to think I meant homosexual. Oh well, the big beautiful women are back. Hey cole i wonder if that girl you saw is one of them. HAHA.
I wish to apologize for my buddy coles deragatory statement about the sweet big fat girl. I know some of you were offended, well fuck it. If you think it was offensive well I really dont give a shit.
So I was at the pub last night, got pretty drunk. It was also crowded which was good and bad, good because there was alot of hot girls and bad because it was hard to move around. Alright im outta stuff to bitch about. Later!!!!!!

2003-08-03T04:04:00.000-04:00

So I'm viewing our site and I see these H-O-M-O personals in our ad bar, and think to myself, "Huh? First we have personal ads for large, lonely ladies and now this. How did we manage to get flamboyant advertising?" Oh yeah, Josh did it… He said something derogatory about gay people and the Google keyword sorter picked up on it and placed “Boy meets Boy” ads in our ad bar. Thanks man. If it were “Boy Meets World” it’d be fine by me because I could make reference to the goddess once known as “Topenga.” Good ‘ol Topenga. But no, the ad is sailor-esque. We might as well rename the site Josh and Cole’s Culture Club or something. The background might as well be salmon-colored. G’Lord! I swear, I can’t beat this Google-powered ad bar. It picks up on all the wrong keywords. Anyweezy, I did a lil’ guest post on Zeus’ brainchild yesterday to ring in ALL ACCESS AUGUST. You can check it out… or not. Yeah so this bed here, I’m gonna hop in it. Although you’ve probably heard this one, I’ll use it. I’m out like a fat girl in a two-piece…

2003-07-31T01:21:00.000-04:00

Normally, most of you would skip a post that started with “My friends and I hit up an outlet mall yesterday,” but today is different because this’ll be worth your while. The last time you heard someone say something will be “worth your while” an elderly woman probably gave you a silver dollar for mowing her lawn… Just read on and your silver dollar will arrive in three days via express shipping.

So we’re walking up to this outlet mall and I happen to cast my gaze upwards from the ground towards a rather large specimen of a teenage girl, who honestly resembled a mid-sized rhino. Keep in mind that an average sized rhinoceros looks a lot like a mid-sized grey sedan. Yeah, that’s a big girl! As my eyes climbed her slack physique faster and faster, the nausea set in. I felt like I was eating on a full stomach after being kicked in the loins. There was something distinctive about this girl. She made my heart skip a beat, in an impending heart-attack sort of way, not in the loving sense of the term. I avoided looking at her stomach because something told me that she had poured herself into a tight top not fit for someone with a 19-inch neck and a bellybutton that could take in a racquetball. At this point, you’re probably asking yourself, “Chris, why the hell did you even look at this fat girl?” Simple. I just wanted to observe a real rhino in its natural habitat. I felt like Steve Irwin. The experience was a grand one indeed. Well… it wasn’t too revolting until I saw the “breast hair.” Yes, people, ingrained within this girl’s cleavage was a mighty mat of hair rivaling that of Robin Williams. OMG!! Seriously! Would it be SO wrong to mandate the cloaking of morbidly obese people? I mean, some shit need not be seen… I know you’re with me. I’m okay. I survived the ordeal, but only because I dismissed what I saw as a “nursing silverback gorilla.” I know silverbacks can only be male; the label is just my way of coping. Women don’t have hair there!! I’m still troubled. Crikey! That was no lass! Anyway, I’m out like my belief that no woman has more hair on her chest than I do… I’m no hairy guy, but this girl had more hair on her chest than Ice Man. If anyone is into the hairy gals, I’m SURE she’s single. Lookers like that are unapproachable.

Side note: Friends in line 1- Ken, The Nichof, and Jr. An unnamed party wanted a "shout out."

2003-07-29T01:43:00.000-04:00

Im soooo drunk.........The pub ws pretty cool, and if this does not make sense who cares....hahaha.......I drank sooo much, like three shots of i dont know and soooo much free beer. ......So the freshman leave tomorrow, which kinda sucks cause alot of cool people are leaving.......I promised one cool and hot girl that i would take her to see a free movie whens he gets back, well here it is a record that i promise if this makes sense.......haha........ well im gonna pass out....oh im buying a TV tomorrow, 12 months no interest, how cool is that...........

2003-07-26T05:01:00.000-04:00

Well im posting, but not the way I was suppossed to. I am suppossed to be drunk, well im a little buzzed only not drunk. DAMN IT!!!!
Well the party at the DU house was not as good as it could have been, man summer sucks. Fall is gonna kick ass though, because no one, no one knows how to throw a party like DU.
ME, WALKER and JJ went couch surfing, wow that was awesome. We ended up wiping out and i have a few scratches but it was definately worth it. It was a good experience, and I would deifnately do it again.
I was thinking "hmm i would like a girlfriend, but then i talk to the wrong girls I guess." I mean i dont know i think i may be ready for a girlfriend, but i dont think I have found that girl i can be with, ill find her one day. Im pretty dumb when it comes to girls, and I dont care who reads this, its true. A girl will give me all the signs shes interested and do I notice, hell no. Im horrible at that, sometimes I can tell. However, most of the time i wish they would just come out and tell me, but that will never happen.
Ok if any hot girls read this and want to see a free movie with me either saturday or sunday, then let me know. My awesome movie job allows me to bring a companion sometimes(its really against the rules, but IM A REBEL!! right lindsay haha) I never bring guys only hot girls. So yea let me know.
Alright im getting tired.......... I think............

2003-07-25T18:41:00.000-04:00

So on thursday my DU big brother threw an awesome party. Two kegs, liquor and alot of people = lots of fun. To top off the night there was creamy liquid shorterning wrestling. The first fight was two girls, followed by another two girls fighting and then some brothers jumped in for a huge brawl. The garage was packed and smelled like shit from the creamy liquid shorterning, but a camera was hooked up to the big screen so whoever wasnt in the garage could watch it.
I was definately trashed, after alot of beer and two tequila shots. Tried to get with this one girl and then her friend, didnt get that far, but i think if i see her again maybe tonight at the DU house party i may have a shot. Both of them were cute.
Oh so I finally got a job. I am sales represenative for an advertising publication called the Trading Post. Ill make 7 dollars an hour plus 10% commission. Im suppossed to work 15 hours a week, but i wont be working out of the office so I can work 5 hours and get paid for 15 as long as I get contacts or make ad sales.
Alright thats it.

2003-07-25T04:26:00.000-04:00

I was surfing the English Channels today (Ah Ha! Get it?), when I came up with this brilliant idea for a reality TV show. There’s these guys right, single guys, and they wear masks, and vie against each other to wed a bachelorette. Each guy wears a different color mask. The masks are cheesy, like they’re straight out of a low budget sci-fi flick. Since these guys wear masks, the woman has to select her suitor solely on account of his personality… Eh, eh, you like? Oh dammit!! You mean there’s already a show like that? Exactly like that? No, seriously, where do people come up with the ideas for these shows? Primetime TV is riddled with poor reality shows. It needs to stop. These wannabe American Idol shows are ridiculous too. The ladies like American Idol and that Fame show, so let them be. But, in the name of everything holy, these teen idol and most talented toddler shows are ridiculous. I know I wanna see some kid do yoyo tricks for 3 minutes. It’s so enjoyable to watch some whiny-voiced little girl try to belt a teenybopper tune. Here’s what I want to see—I want to see a show that shows large crowds of people getting REALLY scared. For example, there’s a high school pep rally in progress, when all of the sudden a man walks in with a bomb strapped around his waist and sits down in the center of the gymnasium. The guy acts likes the batteries aren’t working in the detonator, then says, “Haha, just kidding. You’re all on Frightened Biatch TV!” Or something like a caretaker announcing to a roomful of seniors that there’s no more cottage cheese left in the kitchen of their nursing home. That’s TV!! All right, so the bomb bit may be somewhat excessive, but anything is better than these shows on now. Anyway, like the “oh so” honorable Jesse Jackson once said, “Bitch, the kid ain’t mine!” Sorry, I really don’t know where that came from… So, I’m out like Muhammad Ali in Jenga… ouch

2003-07-22T05:10:00.000-04:00

I was seriously going to hit up the Pub last night for once. I swear! I’m gonna start going again as long as there isn’t an abundance of wiener there. You have my word. I tried to convince my comrades I was with at the time to come with me, but they declined, so I stayed behind as well. My apologies… I will be there next week unless I’m out of town. Anyway, I’ll let Josh do the posting about Pub. He’s a regular. Anyway, my bed is looking mighty sexy right now, so I’m gonna hop in it and do that sleep thing. Nite.

2003-07-21T12:14:00.000-04:00

So my internet connection sucks ass. Lighting knocked out the internet in the DU house and we had to buy new equipment. I mean come on first lighting fucks up the water in the house, and now the internet. The house is gonna blow up soon, I know it.
So I have a job interview tomorrow with the marketing, public relations company called Mediawise Communications. The postion is an Advertising Sales Represenative for their subsidiary Trading Post. Im excited.....
Tonight is PUB night, I hope to get wasted. The only thing to ruin this excitement would be to have ATF come or the threat of ATF. It really sucks when that happens and it becomes to harder to drink. Im 20 and dont have a fake so that requiers me to have someone get me a cup and hen be sneaky walking around the pub drinking. I really hate being 20, because I am so close yet so far from the great age of 21.
Thats all for now, and damnit if i spelled anything wrong, WHO CARES!!!!
Im out..............

2003-07-21T05:49:00.000-04:00

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it… I find it disturbing that nearly every male my age wants to mount the Olsen twins as soon as they turn the big 18! Sure, they’re gonna be knockouts someday, but could a guy really suppress all images of the two girls on Full House in his mind whilst doing “the deed.” If the men (boys) that court these two girls have never seen the show, then I say this, “hit it like the angry hand of God.” However, if they used to tune in to ABC’s gift to television (TGIF) back in the day, and can recall the toddlers distinctively, they should refrain from the physical aspects of intimacy. If the young men actually go through with it, and give them a jolly good rogering, then that’s their business. But if you asked Leon, he’d say, “Yee-ah, that is disgusting.” Some may not see my point, but it’s like this, could a girl straddle the Jerry McGuire kid when he turns 18. I don’t think so. They’d be rolling in the hay until she pictures him as a little kid saying, “Did you know my neighbor has three rabbits?” She’d laugh and probably lose all interest, unless she’s got Mary Kay Letourneau syndrome. Anyway, I’ll leave the Olsen twins on the back burner for the other fellas, I’d much rather have Daisy, Roselyn, or Tyra. Ah yes, they are goddesses indeed. I got things to do (sleep), so I'm gonna split like a fat kid's gym shorts. Good Morning...

2003-07-20T04:27:00.000-04:00

I’ll opt for the small post tonight. I have such an immense quantity of quality posting I wish to present to you, that I haven’t the slightest idea as to where to begin. Actually, I know where to begin, and will do so tomorrow morning at about 6 a.m. “Chris time,” which is about 1 p.m. Eastern time, which will end up being 5 p.m. ET. Got me? Bottom line is, I’ll post “the funny” tomorrow sometime.

As an up-and-coming rapper I would like all you aspiring MCs to know, “there are no accidents in rhyming. Ya see, rhyming is a god-like force that chooses people for stardom. It happened to Bubba Sparxxx, and it can happen to you.” I’m out like Keds… Peace outside

2003-07-19T05:10:00.000-04:00

Mentioning anything remotely close to the subject of Christianity "pisses" Josh off, dually noted. I really was talking about Jack Daniels, but ok, if you want to drag the "J" man into it, that's fine. I mean, your name does come first in the site's title... Showoff. Jus' playin' son. On a grave note, as of late, my Ethernet connection has been about as stable as Oprah Winfrey's weight over the past 4 years. No offense "O-Dubs," I know you're reading. ;) Sure... I really have nothing against the woman. It's 4:50-somethin' and the weight simile was the first thought to drop. Seriously, I would have posted, but the net gods wouldn't have it. Anyway, I'm rather tired, so... basically, Imma (Eye-muh) go to bed now. I have a borrowed closing for this here post-- "I'm out like Day-Glo fanny packs."- Ashly

2003-07-17T20:43:00.000-04:00

Hmm WWJD, yea im sorry but those people piss me off. They pledge their entire life to a person who may not have even been what they believe he is. Im sorry if i offend anyone but thats the way i feel and its my fucking site. Oh and I dont believe in GOD and I am jewish so go to hell cause I cant and you can, so fuck you. Yea that probably did not make sense, but then again this site is called grossman and coles ramblings so you were already warned.
I havent posted in a while but that was because I had a muscle strain in my shoulder and was in a lot of pain. I thought hmm maybe getting drunk would make it feel better. NO!!! that did not do the trick, so i went to the doctor. She told me it was caused by stress when i was sleeping. Yea that sucked, but i got to take muscle relaxers which make you feel awesome. Add alcohol and you will feel reat, trust me. hahaha. Yea so thats about it...
One mroe thing, I am an asshole.............And if you have a problem with anything I said FUCK YOU!!!

2003-07-16T20:56:00.000-04:00

I saw a van today with a WWJD bumper sticker and thought to myself, “Hmm, what would Jesus do?” I don’t know what he’d do, but I’m damn sure he wouldn’t cut someone off and immediately brake. Just a thought… I’ll post later tonight. Until then, I’m gone like a scrawny kindergartner’s lunch money.

2003-07-12T04:00:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well... I'm back like the clap and proud to say... I'm under the influence of the mind-altering substance known as alcohol. I just want to bestow upon yo' asses a little advice. Party and study, live it up while learning people. Live life while in pursuit of knowledge. It's a good way to roll. Just don't party to the point of wearing beer goggles. Ladies, if you find this guy hot, and guys, if you find this girl bangin', you've gone too far and should consult your closest friends before acting upon the liquid attraction. Trust me, you don't want to wake up and have to do the "Coyote Ugly" or "Rodent" (Coyote Ugly - also known as "the Rodent," Waking up with a nasty one night stand, you realize you have to give her/him the slip. You realize your arm is wrapped around them. You would rather gnaw off your own arm than risk waking them). Such encounters may lead to consequences such as having a kid that grows up to look like this. And that my loyal visitors, is all I have to write about. Let me know if my spelling is sub-par when I commit a P.U.I. (Post Under the Influence). Keep your noses clean. I'm out like Lil' Kim's fake D-cups at the VMA's. G'night all...

2003-07-09T18:15:00.000-04:00

Here's what I don't get. P. Diddy gives B-Af and J-Lo His and Hers Rolls Royce Corniches, brand new of course, as wedding gifts. Yes Diddy, we know you're worth $293 million; you needn't flaunt your tremendous wealth. Why Corniches? If Ben and Jen each really wanted a Rolls, they would've already purchased them with their own $365,000. I mean the luxury sedans would be a terrific wedding present for a couple not blessed with millions, but Ben and Jen? C'mon dude. Their pool tiles are probably fashioned out of gold and diamonds. How much thought did Diddy put into these gifts, really? I can picture the instant when the gift idea hit him. He was sipping Cristal in his parked Bentley with the 23' wheels spinning while smoking the finest of cigars when he said; "I know what'll win J-Lo back. I'll give she and Ben some fly rides with deuces on the side and act like I'm over her." Congratulations Diddy, you're a jackass. You're a cool jackass, but a jackass nonetheless. Diddy, I have a proposition for you . If you want me to withdraw this post in which you are referred to as a "jackass," buy me a luxury sedan or exotic super car made within the last two years. That's not asking a lot. It's like a middle class man buying an impecunious hobo a candy bar.

In entertainment news, I've broken off from Wu-Tang, changed my name to C. Fiddy, and started working on my solo album. Anyway, I'm out like pogs...

2003-07-08T20:04:00.000-04:00

I honestly don't think your post- "Cole you're a dumbass!!!!" warrants 4 exclamation points or 4 ha's. I corrected the "your" which is a possessive pronoun to "you're." Josh, keep an eye out for the verbs and keep swingin'. You'll get 'em champ. At least I got you to post... eh heh

Side Note: I have joined the Wu-Tang Clan under the name of "Nappy Shizzle" and will begin touring in September.

2003-07-08T13:24:00.000-04:00

Cole your a Dumbass!!!! hahahaha

2003-07-07T23:47:00.000-04:00

I just got back into Jamlando at 10:30 and guess where I'm not... That's right! The PUB! I'm not a fan of the PUB, mostly because it's a shithole. I don't frequent any establishment where 9 million swinging wieners get together to gawk at about 10 girls while drinking cheap beer. It's just not my thing. Write that down.

2003-07-06T00:00:00.000-04:00

The true post
The previous post was segment 2 of the ongoing, unnecessary, and for the most part fictitious saga entitled Someone Thinks it's Funny to Put Hefty Personals in our Advertisement Bar. The post is also the result of little sleep the night before due to taking care of drunken people who think 6 double shots of Skyy Blue Vodka within a 10-minute period is a good idea after already drinking 5 beers fairly fast. Yeah, not a heave-free good time last night. But... It was funny as Hell!! It's fun to mess with drunken friends, esp. when they don't heed your warnings. Here's a morsel of what went down on the fourth.
Yours Truly: "Dude, slow down, you've had 3 double shots in four minutes. It's gonna hit you like a train hits a fresh inmate."
That Guy: "Stop F-ing nay-saying!"
Yours Truly: "Sure pal..."
... That Guy imbibes the double shot thrice more within said 10-minute period.
Yours Truly: (while the last shot is being downed) "I give you twenty minutes till you drop... or die."
That Guy: "Sure mom, thanks for lookin' out."
Your Truly: "Ha, indeed..." (Mumbles "dumbass" under breath)
... 19 minutes and 57 seconds pass...
Yours Truly: "3...2...1...and...."
:ENTER YOUR OWN SOUND EFFECT HERE: (That Guy takes a plunge toward the balcony rail and hits it face first."
That Guy: (Moaning) "Ahhh! NO WAY!! (5 second pause) I think I'm gonna yack."
Yours Truly: "Damn son, what'd I tell ya?" (Walks around slowly in a taunting manner to show the downed drunk how much fun walking can be, all while shouting, "you should try this walking and standing shit, it's great!!")

So, it didn't go down quite like that, but that's the gist of the story. Yeah... I'm out like Dunkin' Donuts' supply of glazed donuts after a visit from Oprah...

2003-07-05T22:55:00.000-04:00

Sorry... I don't steal stuff so I guess I'm not cool enough to post.
Fine! Fine! In all honesty, I stole some Peeps from some blog employee who continues to place certain dating ads for the husky on this site. "Hey ad person! I said 'certain,' which contains cert, a name brand mint. Does that make you long for a cert? Keep rotating the plump personals in our ad bar... I'll steal those pure white, spearmint-flavored discs of oral freshness from you as well. I know you miss those little marshmallow birds. I also seized and scanned your before snapshots taken at Fat Camp '87 and tossed the after shots in the wastebasket. How 'bout them apples? Oops... APPLES!"

2003-07-03T18:08:00.000-04:00

HAHA chris cole is hilarious......
So last night i was at the pub, and what a crazy night it was. First off I get in for free and drank for free past the midnight limit and for me being the cheap ass jew that I am, I was estatic. But anyways me, heaton, landon, mckelvey, downs and brent are drinking having fun and this drunk peice of shit comes up to our table and says that we having been staring at this girl his boy is with. This girl is wheelers sister, so we tell him that she is one of our brothers sisters, and he keeps on talking about how he are staring at her. So i call him crazy and he gets in my face and says hes not crazy and that he and his friend have been looking at us all night, so my drunk ass says so what are youy a faggot staring at us, which pissed him off even more. He says no your a pervert, so i yell well your a FUCKIN!!! FAGGOT!!!... hahaha so he pushes me and then brent pushes me out of the way again which gets him pushed by one of the kids boys. JJ the bouncer ended up grabbing the kid and throwing him out of the pub, which then started a brawl outside invovling JJ and another pub guy and like 7 of the kids friends. HAHA it was great, they all got their asses kicked by JJ and the other pub guy. What a night!!!! After the pub I was walking by the a house and stole a chair which is in fact a very nice chair. So i had a great night, grew some huge balls by standing up to what i found out was a sigma chi( SO YEA!!! DONT MESS WITH DU) and got a nice chair..... later!!!

2003-06-30T20:52:00.000-04:00

If you direct your eyes toward the top of the page, you'll see that there are two ads for overweight people seeking love and companionship. I mean, come on! Did I strike a nerve with a portly person? I don't deserve to have plumper personals at the top of my page... One of the higher-ups must be toying with us from his/her pedestal of power. You listen here you, you, you fat person, you change that ad or I'll make fun of you. Remember preschool when the other kids cut you down for being able to make a racquetball disappear inside your cavernous maw? Well this'll be much worse. Not only will I make fun of you until you change the ads, but I'll also steal your secret stash of Peeps!

2003-06-29T19:18:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned in my pre-post written during the wee hours of the morning, I was vacationing in North Cackalacky for the past week or so. North Cackalacky is a collection of areas within North Carolina where there is no cellular service, no Internet, and nice, unattractive people who strive to procreate with members of their own family line. It was a nice trip, but it kinda flopped due to ill planning on my uncle’s part. You see, when you’re vacationing with 7 women (whose main objective is to shop) and 4 guys (whose only objective is to fly fish), you need to take both objectives into account and find a middle ground. Find a place with damn good shopping for the ladies and exceptional, gold medal trout waters for the fellas. Where we stayed was definitely not a middle ground. We stayed in Bryson City, where everything is primitive and for the most part toothless. But hey, do I blog to bitch and whine? Nay!! I blog to entertain, just like a musician who rocks a crowd hard without concern for money. Like RAFFY!!
Hmmm… Well, I undertook the task of making up a list of guidelines to follow for all those who will eventually let themselves go physically and mentally and move to Bryson City (Site Meter 176- I’m mocking myself… SCHWEET!). Let’s ride:
1. First, you must relinquish any degree you may have (if you actually grad-ju-a-tud from “somewhere-s”) and act like your vacuous… Put Dale Earnhardt stickers all over your two-tone, long bed truck for added effect… Wait!!
2. MUST DRIVE TRUCK
3. Lose all concern for personal hygiene. Hold on, for God’s sake wear deodorant! Keep a toothbrush in your house with fresh toothpaste. Not for you, but for the wayward wanderers you may take in.
4. Tip a jungle Jim or swing set over in your front yard, preferably in the portion located nearest the main road that winds through town and around the mountain. Swing set MUST BE well-rusted.
5. Find gnome lawn jockeys and position them (in a tilted fashion) near the walkway to your doublewide so as to make it look like your property has not been cleaned up since Hurricane Hugo hit.
6. Stay in your home as much as possible, then government agencies will simply overlook your very humble abode as a dilapidated summer home that just hasn’t been visited in a while. However, somehow, mysteriously cut your grass.
7. Label NOTHING! Not roads, not driveways, and God forbid the address of your business. Who wants someone to find their store? The makeshift wooden signs situated 1 mile up the road that read “YOUR BUSINESS HERE 2.5 miles” are key as they are integral for a prosperous “shack” or “stop.”
8. Give bad directions whilst breathing through your mouth as little as possible. Better yet, mumble, and purse your lips … We don’t want anyone to discover the secret to your smile. ;)
… and that my good people- - is all I have time for. I’m off like Darryl Strawberry on his first three drug offenses.

2003-06-29T02:19:00.000-04:00

So basically...
I see J. G. $Money$ has added my name to the site... good stuff... I just got back from a week's vacation in North Cackalacky. I'll be posting soon (tomorrow)... NINJAI is back by the way! Check it out... Did you know that there are absolutely no girls of the pretty variety in Bryson City, NC? Well, there was this one, eh, female, she almost had all of her teeth. She was quite the nigh-looker. Anyweezy, I'm out like Snoop Dogg after a brawl with Marion "Suge" Knight.

2003-06-21T18:37:00.000-04:00

We have reached the 100 mark for number visits, wow! I feel so awesome that people are actually reading my ramblings or maybe its just chris'.
Last night we had a pretty good party at the DU house, so many freshman were here. i was wasted, and had so much fun.
Tonight im going to see the new movie Alex and Emma with this girl Jessica. thats all for now, later.....

2003-06-19T17:55:00.000-04:00

Just rolled into Tampa through a tempest tantamount to those seen in "The White Squall."
Quick story: It was pouring and some driver in the car behind me started flashing his briz-ights. So, basically I ducked down so as to make him think that Willow was driving my vehicle. When he attempted to pass, I sat up and sped past him grinning like Tonya Harding after "el plan" had been carried out on one Nancy Kerrigan. Needless to say, my fellow road warrior was a tad bit perturbed. Did I just refer to figure skating? Oh well... I'm out like Pee Wee Herman's one-eyed trout in a B-Movie theatre!

2003-06-18T23:19:00.000-04:00

So Pharb is taking a while to get off the ground and I am now ins earch of another job to complement my current movie job. I had a job as a pool boy but I got fired, fucking assholes!!!
Started my american history 2020 class for summer B, its pretty cool. Met this cool chick named jessica, were going to a movie friday dont know where thats going, but shes a cool chick and if were just friends well thats cool. Im done rambling for the moment, stay tuned for more.

2003-06-12T02:09:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well… Josh added me, Chris of the Cole variety, to his blog. I was originally designated to post random comments about fat girls, but I thought, “How long could I possibly keep the cankles of the ‘fat girl’ shtick canklin’?” Simple… FOREVER! But, and this is a big but, like the J-Lo of “BUTS,” no not “butts,” had to clarify. ;) But, I feel that my safety would be in constant jeopardy if I launched an Anti-Hefty Person campaign on this site… Hmm, not really. I just don’t want to offend any of the rotund viewers from our broad, unrivaled fan base. Ergo, I will post humorous ramblings at least bi-daily for as long as Josh makes reference to PHARB… And that my surfing comrades, WILL BE A LONG DAMN TIME. Ah, what the Hell! I’ll post even if he doesn’t, because I love each and every one of you (that actually took the time to read my nigh-longwinded first post) like Ricki Lake love a snack cake! (During her HairSpray days of course) And in the words of the talented Melissa Ethridge, haha yeah right, I can’t stand her… I’m out like an erection in sweatpants, g’nite...

2003-06-11T16:47:00.000-04:00

So I went to class for the first time in a week. It was kind of weird this morning, I woke up and just decided "oh well Im already awake, i"ll go." I wish I had thought that before and not missed so many classes.
Working out today was awesome, I worked out my leg muscles until they felt like jello, it was so awesome.
Tonight the weekly PHARB meeting will happen and I am pretty excited to report how well we did on monday. Thats all for now, tune in later for more.

2003-06-10T03:30:00.000-04:00

So yea me and knarzer kicked ass tonightat the PUB. We sold a great amount for the first time at the PUB and next week will be even better. The one downside to tonight was not being able to drink at the PUB. I drank a little afterwards, but it didnt do that much. I do have to say that the PHARB girls are fucking HOT!!! Damn if not for the rule that employees can not have sexual relations with other employees I would definately be tapping that ass of each and every PHARB girls.
OK im gonna get some sleep, later all....

2003-06-09T14:48:00.000-04:00

This is my first post EVER!!! Just to point out a few things, everything I say will probably not relate to each other. This blogger is not called ramblings for nothing.

Ayways, so today I worked out again and I am feeling good, strong and a little more toned. Tonight PHARB hits the Pub!!! I will update this later and let everyone know how it went. Thats all for now.